Things have gone sour. I can’t sleep. Do they not know? I don’t think they do. It’s frustrating. No. Infuriating. I don’t know what to do. I hate it. What do you do when everything you try to do goes wrong? What happens next?
Emily Ann December 20, 2008
One of my best friends from Highschool just gave birth to a baby girl! She was born on December 19th at 8:45p.m. Her name is Emily Ann. She weighed 7lbs 6 1/2 oz. 19 inches long. And as cute as can be!! I am a very proud Uncle! (YES. I SAID UNCLE!) Whenever I got to hold Emily she looked at me and smiled a little bit out of the corner of her mouth. That I will never forget. I wish her parents Kayla and Anthony the best in rasing there beautiful baby girl. Annnd, if they ever need a babysitter CALL ME!
another one..?! December 17, 2008
It seems everyday I go into work I meet an old friend from the past. Which is all fine and dandy, because I love seeing people I haven’t talked with in awhile. Until they tell me there getting married. IT’S SO ANNOYING. I don’t get it. Yeah, pretty much the only reason were on the planet is to find our “mate” and repopulate. But good lord. Apparently people here are taking to to heart…WAY to quickly. All of my friends are 20 and under, and everyone is married. Or getting married. Or is going to end up married. Most of my friends have only had maybe one serious relationship. ONE. Not two. JUST ONE. I’ve already had one serious relationship. I want more then one. Which isn’t the best thing to wish on yourself. But I do. I want to learn from boyfriend mistakes. So when I’m ready to look for the perfect guy, I know what NOT too look for. I already know some things, but sometimes it takes a relationship to say “hey, I don’t like people shorter then me…” Or “I don’t like people who have dogs” I dont get it. I guess because there so blind by love they can’t see around them. I hope to god I won’t be like that. In fact I refuse to be like that. It’s so pointless. Your so absorbed by the other person, you never have anytime for anyone else. Yeah, its important to spend time with them, but they’re not the only person that loves you. I kinda feel…alone out of my friends. I mean my BEST friend is married. My other good friend is married, and is going to have a girl in a few days. I also had a friend who got married on Sunday. And I have another friend who is getting married in September. Ugh. At this rate I never want to get married. Maybe it’s just how my family is. My parents got divorced when i was young so, all I ever saw was my mom working her ass off to support us, and I saw my daddy sometimes. I even sometimes think I just want to have a kid by myself. Which is very odd. I think there’s something wrong with me. I’m so weird.
On the Tv. December 9, 2008
I live in Arkansas. I’m not originally from here. And sometimes it’s weird living here. Alot of people forget about our state. So a few weeks back I was scanning and I started watching a show called ” 17 and counting”. It’s about a (very) conservitive family that happens to live about 30 mins from were I do. And were ever they go, I’m like..I KNOW WERE THAT IS! I WAS THERE YESTERDAY! And I thought that was pretty cool. Sure, they’re representing our state while having 17 kids with one on the way. But it’s pretty cool to see people and places you know on the tv. Maybe one day I’ll be there when they film. And I’ll be on tv. That would be awesome.
Memories in a box December 6, 2008
So, I’ve been spending the last few weeks at my mothers house, for a few reasons which i will not bore you with. I’m staying in my old room, which has been voided of all my pretty awesome posters, and now is a cozy little guest room. I’ve been kinda neglecting cleaning because once i do that i have to find places for things to go, and that’s no fun. But anyway, I woke up from a really bad dream at about 4am ( mom and I had watched this really freaking scary movie..) and i couldn’t go back to sleep. So I figured I might as well do something productive. So I started cleaning, moving little things here and there. I didn’t want to open my closet, I had already tried, and I wasn’t successful. Finally I had to open the damn doors because I needed to hang crap up. I yanked at that door for a good 5 mins, before it finally opened. Annnd a box fell over. “Greeeaaat, more shit to clean up” I was thinking, until i looked down at what the box contained. Pictures. A butt load of them. So, trying to distract myself from cleaning my room I grab a hand full, and sit down on the bed and look at them. Most of them I remembered. Family gatherings, Christmas, Our old house in Florida, my 8th grade field trip to D.C. I found a few close to my heart. Pictures of Greg, my late step-father, and our quirky beagle max, who passed away in 2006. I also, to my dismay found a picture, I believe at the homeschooling dance. Of Hanna and I. And she had long hair…weird. I also found a few “books” I made in kindergarten. One of which was made on a very fancy Mac computer, i believe. I’d like to share a few of those poems. Apparently my grammar and spelling haven’t improved much in the 14 year gap. Enjoy!
get sum bred n kud it. put tooona
n a bowl with maonaz. mix thm.
put toona on the bred. slis it. eat it.
After the poem is a drawing of what i believe is a pumpkin and a bed…and maybe a knife? NEXT.
She luvs me. She hugs me. She taks me evrewer. She kant kook but she kan set the tabl. Mi gramo hips at skool. I luv mi gramo vere much.
I remember my grandmother reading that and laughing for about 20 mintues. Also. I believe this is proof, that I am a contributing factor to txt spelling. Sorry guys…
Circus December 5, 2008
I feel like Brittney. She said “my life is too in control”. I kinda feel that way too. I get up and go to work. Do what other people want me to do all day. Then come home, do what my mother wants me to do. And go to bed. And on somedays, my friends call me up and ask me to do stuff for them. I feel as if i only exist for other people. I feel like I’m not in control of what I do. I’m to afraid to anything irrational. So, I’m going to try something. I’m going to control my weight. I don’t care what I have to do. It’s the only thing I can control. I want to be pretty. I want to be the girl that all the boys want to date. I want to be the girl with all the nice clothes. I’m tired of being the girl that eats everything, and can’t buy clothes she wants to wear. I’m afraid of being skinny. I don’t want it to change me. I love the way I am. Sure I’m a pushover. Sure I spend most of my time trying to make my friends feel better. I love that me. I dont’ want to change myself. I just want to change the otter me. Before I’ve tried and failed. I need to get it together. And just do it. I know that I’m scared of being skinny. I’m afraid of too much change. Well. I’m going to do it. Tomorrow. I’m going to just..do it. I don’t care.
A Page. December 2, 2008
To many times have I heard, “Yeah, I wanna get married.” “Oh? Who with” “No one right now, i just need to find her. She has to be nice, sweet, funny…You know. Someone like you, but not you..because that would be weird..”
DO I HAVE BOILS ON MY FACE!? There must be something I’m missing. In the past month I think i’ve heard that 5 times. Ok. So I’m not a stick. I’m curvy. Ok. MORE then curvy. I like that about myself. I feel like I’m one of the only happy fat people. The only reason I would loose weight was to be healthier. And just enough to shut my family up. BUT ANYWAY. I think I must have some invisible boils or something. Either that or I’m forever stuck in the friend zone.